I Have A Stalker In England, And Other Interesting Things I'm Going To Share With You Because I Find Them Interesting And Thought To Myself, "Hey, You Know, MOL Nation Might Find These Things Interesting Too."

* tried to use my fireplace for the first time last night.  i had everything in place, and probably used 12 matches and burned 3 newspapers, but the logs never caught on fire.  what the hell?  houses tragically burn down all the time, but i can't set a damn log on fire that's in my fireplace???

* i heard someone got shot and killed by a federal marshall on an airplane yesterday in miami for muttering an f bomb, or something like that.  i think it's time we all recognized that the religious right really does control every single section of our government.

* gay or not gay scenario #1: mueller aka papa caesar has called a coffee meeting tomorrow morning with me and el mol.  however not only will the 3 of us be there, but so will little brEndAn mueller, papa caesar's infant son.  as the 3 of us scramble to keep him fed, changed, and happy - do you think the gachet hipsters will peg us as gay? or not gay? 

* gay or not gay scenario #2: ryan iltis is coming to my house tonight to share cocoa and s'mores in front of my fireplace (there may not be a fire burning in the fireplace, but there will be one burning in our hearts).  when our wives observe us huddled close to keep warm, sharing our snacks together - do you think they will view us as gay? or not gay?  (bonus question: what about when we go have sex after the snacks?)

* gay or not gay scenario #3: dave crump and i walked from our deep ellum office to a deep ellum restaurant for lunch yesterday.  since it was 19 outside, we grabbed a couple of matching kelly green mavs tobagons to both wear for our walk.  when we walked into that restaurant - do you think our fellow customers pegged us as gay? or not gay?

* let's play a quick little game of "is god distancing from this or is god not distancing from this?".  apparently a christian theme park is being planned for the holy land, making it anything but.  do you think god is distancing or not distancing from this project?

* let's play another game of "is god distancing from this or is god not distancing from this?".  you can now by a cross lanyard for your ipod-mini, no word yet on whether it comes with a podcast of ed young junior sermons, but i'd be shocked if he doesn't own the patent.  do you think god is distancing or not distancing from this project?

* finally let's play a game of "offensive or not offensive?".  here is j-nice's new e-mail auto signature: "heres to all my bitches , and all african americans, to keep there mother fuckin hands in the air.  justin".  do you find that e-mail auto signature to be offensive?  or not offensive?

* this week i shipped/dropped off about a dozen rich mullins mix CD's that were requested here 3 months ago.  what is up!!  i may be slow to deliver, but once i do, i never disappoint.  (for further confirmation of this, just ask iltis after tonight).

* some great posts from other mol nation blogs that you may have missed recently: Things Paul Is Now Glad He Edited From His Letter To The Ephesians and perhaps the single most disturbing picture i have ever seen....also you should go check out j-nice's latest ramblings on "the loop".

* i have noticed when i log into typepad that someone in england keeps hitting my site a few times a day by googling "fauss blog mol".  my imagination is running wild with this one....is it prince charles?  madonna?  that chick who writes the harry potter books?  whoever it is i wish they'd give me some tips on how to start a fire.

keepin my hands in the air,

mol junior

Comments

[ace]

I'm not certain of this, but I suspect I know who the British stalker is....I have a good friend of mine in the UK who frequents my blog and I have mentioned your blog several times...I don't have links on my page to your site, but I am sure, if I know my friend Brad, that he is googling to find you instead of just marking it in his "favorites" or something. Sorry for the confusion. He is an attorney (or a barister, as they call them) and really quite smart....but, that doesn't eliminate this sort of activity I am afraid.

take it as a compliment

also
YES to all the possible gay scenarios

God never had any part of the iPod case or the the theme park -- this is the just the sort of "tower of Babble" activity I'm sure he loves

[Sound/Fury]

Fauss - Maybe it's Chris Martin. You said you guys are good buds, right?

[papa caesar]

maybe "brandon" will hook up with "pheebee" one day...

gay to all gay/not gay scenarios

DOUBLE YES!! to offensive question. I don't think I can play poker with j-nice anymore.

[Bradford]

Ceramic logs don't burn.

[Faith (just for this post because I actually read the whole thing and laughed out loud at school in]

* you need to live somewhere it is actually cold in the winter to have proper fire starting knowledge! *hee hee*
* Those Damn right wingers lol!
* Gay scenario #1 - Not
* Gay scenario #2a - Not
* Gay scenario #2b - Yes
* Gay scenario #3 - Yes, but only because you used the word 'tobagons' instead of the French Canadian word 'Toque'(the only true name for warm winter hats)
* God distancing #1 - yes
* God distancing #2 - Yes
* Offensive! Sweet mother YES!!!! I love J, as I'm sure you already know, but...wow...what the hell is up with that!?
* I am all aflutter with excitement! *grin* ...really...I seriously am. Thanks for making me a CD! Maybe when it arrives I will make a 'readable' post of my thoughts on it.

[j-lay]

*that's terribly sad that you can't start a fire. i now wonder if you are a man.
*i am now afraid to drop the f bomb.
*gay or not #1...no
*gay or not #2...if sex happens
*gay or not #3...yeah baby yeah!
*jnice is offensive and we love him
*you should be honored to be staulked by a brit.

[Ricky Gervais]

You caught me, MOL Junior!

[Jiff]

This list-type post was incredibly fun and I endorse heartily and am sorry for turkey neck.

[Jnise]

first buy a starter log, they are pure golden. second , all scenerios are gay accept for coffee with Mueller.
nice post keep up the good work.

[cynical tyrant]

i was a little disappointed that rich did not play in my cd player.

other than that, i was quite impressed that mol jr. remembered to bring me the cd.

[natalie elaine]

buy a gas fireplace.

[MOL Junior]

we were gonna do the gas log thing but we backed out at the last minute, and i'm so glad we did. a couple of reasons: 1. cost was $399 compared to real wood which is $3.99 per bundle. 2. one of the things that's genius about a fire is the crackling sound of the embers...so anyway, i'll get myself a starter log and i'm sure i'll get this thing figured out.

p.s. hey ct, i have already made reperations on the bad CD. watch your mailbox.

[natalie elaine]

haven't you learned anything from 21st century america? there's no price on ease?

i'll conceed to the crackling point - similar feelings about real vs. artificial trees so i lose here.

[bobby]

Thanks for the plug, MJ.