she has been under my care for awhile now. i have nurtured her and taken care of her and kept her out of the sun. i have not let anyone beat her up, or walk all over her. i'd clean her up really good every week or so, but every day she was a part of my life...reading with me and, in a way, feeding me. but now she is polished and shiny and ready to move on.
i have always used placemats, and coasters, and i would appreciate it if you would too. please use hot pads to protect her from pans coming right out of the oven. please do not put your feet up on her or lean back in her chairs. they are kind of old and rickety and could go at any minute.
please do not let her hang out with other tables who may be a bad influence on her. please do not encourage her to smoke pot, or to listen to rock music, or to sleep with her fiancee before they get married. for god's sake please hide your beer. please do not tell her about HBO. please do not let her in on the little secret that there are other tables out there, good tables who have a lot to offer, who have worldviews not consistent with christianity. please do not teach her that there are other radio stations besides christian radio stations.
please make sure she goes to a church where the other tables where suits...i've had enough of this damn casual dress code. oh sorry bout that. i repent. please do not cuss in front of her, as this is the worst thing i can imagine. please make sure she knows that gossip and greed are OK, though, as long as they are thinly disguised. but she should know that already anyway. i taught her that part well.
anyway, i heard that you play music in strip clubs in your spare time, so really this is against my better judgment. just remember that i'll be watching, and if you screw with her, i will most certainly bring my vengeance down upon you....thus sayeth the Lord.
I like this style . . . .
Posted by: el mol | 07/18/2007 at 18:14
you should, it's yours
Posted by: MOL Junior | 07/18/2007 at 19:56
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
Posted by: anonymous | 07/19/2007 at 14:53
Aside#1 - commenting on it by the person being flatterd( i.e. ElMol) or the flatteree (PlaceMatt's word for it) is very self serving. Must b the Mitchell inner self we don't know about?
Posted by: anonymous | 07/19/2007 at 14:57
"please do not tell her about HBO."
I was just rewarded you the "favorite father figure of the week" title just for that phrase alone.
Posted by: Linz | 07/19/2007 at 16:38
actually i think flattery is the sincerest form of flattery. for example, see linz.
speaking of which, that's a great compliment...BUT i do want to point out that this post has absolutely nothing to do with my precious daughter.
it's about a table. (and something else).
Posted by: MOL Junior | 07/19/2007 at 20:41